World’s Dumbest Hacker


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Found a forum discussing the world’s dumbest hacker and I believe you have to agree, the guy really is the world’s dumbest hacker. Below is a copy of the post made in the forum:

*** Start ***

This is a transcript of the worlds dummest hacker on an IRC channel. The original can be found here: http://www.jellyslab.com/~bteo/hacker.htm

The comments are not mine, they belong to the original poster of the dialogue.

quote:

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
[bitchchecker] why do you kick me
[bitchchecker] can’t you discus normally
[bitchchecker] answer!
[Elch] we didn’t kick you
[Elch] you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
[bitchchecker] what ping man
[bitchchecker] the timing of my pc is right
[bitchchecker] i even have dst
[bitchchecker] you banned me
[bitchchecker] amit it you son of a bitch
[HopperHunter|afk] LOL
[HopperHunter|afk] shit you’re stupid, DST^^
[bitchchecker] shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
[bitchchecker] for two weaks already
[bitchchecker] when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
[Elch] You’re a real computer expert
[bitchchecker] shut up i hack you
[Elch] ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are ^^
[bitchchecker] tell me your network number man then you’re dead
[Elch] Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
[Elch] or maybe 127.0.0.1
[Elch] yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
[bitchchecker] in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
[Elch] Now I’m frightened
[bitchchecker] shut up you’ll be gone
[bitchchecker] i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
[bitchchecker] say goodbye
[Elch] to whom?
[bitchchecker] to you man
[bitchchecker] buy buy
[Elch] I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.

quote:

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
[bitchchecker] dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
[Metanot] lol
[Elch] bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
[bitchchecker] you’re so stupid man
[bitchchecker] say buy buy
[Metanot] ah, [Please control your cussing] off
[bitchchecker] buy buy elch
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

There was a tension in the room… Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve… Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.

quote:

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
[bitchchecker] elch you son of a bitch
[Metanot] bitchchecker how old are you?
[Elch] What’s up bitchchecker?
[bitchchecker] you have a frie wal
[bitchchecker] fire wall
[Elch] maybe, i don’t know
[bitchchecker] i’m 26
[Metanot] such behaviour with 26?
[Elch] how did you find out that I have a firewall?
[Metanot] tststs this is not very nice missy
[bitchchecker] because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
[bitchchecker] be a man turn that shit off
[Elch] cool, didn’t know this was possible.
[bitchchecker] thn my virus destroys your pc man
[Metanot] are you hacking yourselves?
[Elch] yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
[Metanot] he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
[bitchchecker] yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
[Metanot] what firewall do you have?
[bitchchecker] like a girl
[Metanot] firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl^^
[He] Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
[bitchchecker] turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
[Elch] Noo
[Metanot] he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
[bitchchecker] you’re afraid
[bitchchecker] i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
[bitchchecker] elch turn off your shit wall!
[Metanot] i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
[bitchchecker] shut up
[Metanot] lol
[bitchchecker] my grandma surfs with fire wall
[bitchchecker] and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall

He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn’t let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don’t have a firewall at all, only my router.

quote:

[Elch] bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
[Metanot] bitchhacker can’t hack
[Black] nice play on words ^^
[bitchchecker] wort man
[Elch] bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
[Metanot] how many times again he is no hacker
[bitchchecker] man do you want a virus
[bitchchecker] tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
[Metanot] lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..^^
[Elch] 127.0.0.1
[Elch] it’s easy
[bitchchecker] lolololol you so stupid man you’ll be gone
[bitchchecker] and are the first files being deleted
[Elch] mom…
[Elch] i’ll take a look

In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?

quote:

[bitchchecker] don’t need to rescue you can’t son of a bitch
[Elch] that’s bad
[bitchchecker] elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
[Elch] yes, there’s nothing i can do about it
[bitchchecker] and in 20 seconds f: is gone

Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn’t matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a music tip.

quote:

[bitchchecker] tupac rules
[bitchchecker] elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too

Drive E:? Oh my god… All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted….

Or isn’t it happening on my computer?

quote:

[bitchchecker] and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
[He] why doesn’t meta say anything
[Elch] he’s probably rolling on the floor laughing
[Black] ^^
[bitchchecker] your d: is gone
[He] go on BITCH

The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I’ll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.

quote:

[bitchchecker] elch man you’re so stupid never give your ip on the internet
[bitchchecker] i’m already at c: 30 percent

Should I tell him he’s not attacking my computer?

quote:

* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

Too late… It’s 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias “bitchchecker”. We see that he has a “Ping timeout”. We haven’t seen him since then… must be the Daylight Saving Time.

*** End ***

Geez, this guy is indeed the world’s dumbest hacker!!!

More jokes…


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September 14, 2006 · Posted in Technology  
　　　　

Comments

94 Responses to “World’s Dumbest Hacker”

  1. bonniecool on September 14th, 2006 2:00 pm

    Very smart hacker…..!!!!! lolz!

  2. Kates on September 14th, 2006 4:41 pm

    That made my day. Reaaaaaally funny.

  3. Information Security PHilippines on September 14th, 2006 11:10 pm

    LOL! Good one Mike! love it ;-)

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. Google Girl on September 15th, 2006 6:54 am

    hahahha this is hilarious! :D

  5. freakismarco on September 15th, 2006 3:52 pm

    really funny!!!

    wahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    im really not into jokes.. but this one is
    really COOL..

    im laughing my heart out

  6. Edwin on September 15th, 2006 7:55 pm

    LOL

    Thanks for sharing

  7. mxine on September 19th, 2006 9:04 am

    Poor moronic idiot hacked his own computer! What an ass. hahahaha

  8. vher on September 20th, 2006 11:47 am

    hmmmm i wanna be like him :P

    bwehehehehe nice 1 mike :)

  9. Luminus on September 22nd, 2006 9:54 pm

    If there’s a word worse than dumb, it’s still not enough to describe this guy. Any idiot knows that 127.0.0.1 is a friggin loopback address.

    I’m sure he’s still bawling his eyes out as we speak. Hot Damn!!! It should be a crime to be this stupid, don’t you think.

  10. Sephiron on October 14th, 2006 10:43 pm

    Omg , that was a freaking dumb hacker . The suptitel matches to the facts , that he is the worlds dumbest hacker . * Woot *

  11. Adrian on October 15th, 2006 2:49 am

    I’d love to meet this guy…. What a twat… First of all he’s probably been given it by someone who knows what they were doing, was probably only about 15years old, and absoloutly had no clue as to how hacking or networking works… Getting Ip’s is one of the easiest tasks anyone can do (once you know how)

    He’s fortunate on the other hand to have only fucked his own pc up.. Letting someone that dumm hack around the web is dangerous… lol

    Nice find!!

  12. Jw on October 19th, 2006 11:42 pm

    Obviously fake, but still funny.

  13. UZI on October 21st, 2006 4:07 am

    Perfect man ahhahahah!

  14. dyoung on October 21st, 2006 8:52 am

    HAHA whos IP did u use in the story? u should of used like…myspace (216.178.32.137) or…google (72.14.203.104) or this sites IP :P (69.57.158.57)

  15. Bisyss on October 22nd, 2006 5:01 am

    dyoung,
    127.0.0.1 is what’s known as a loopback address. It’ll essentially send you back to your own PC, which is why this story works so well. Bitchchecker deleted everything off his on computer without realising.

  16. Ellen Spertus on October 22nd, 2006 10:29 am

    There’s a cartoon about that: http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20010523

  17. adam on October 24th, 2006 3:37 am

    I know nothing about computer programming etc but that is so funny it all goes way over my head but that guy is such an idiot! Thank god for people who know what they are doing! ;-)

  18. Bob Marley on October 24th, 2006 11:03 pm

    Haha, I did a simmilar thing when a friend wanted to hack me using Limewire. :)

  19. hehe on October 25th, 2006 3:22 am

    Nice lol :wub:

  20. ajay kumar on October 25th, 2006 11:27 am

    Very very funny!!! seriously i loved each and every one word on this page…….i am sure that dumb hacker is just a kid!!!

  21. Jon on October 26th, 2006 2:24 am

    That was very funny! Made my day… What an idiot!

  22. voodoo on October 27th, 2006 5:09 am

    hahahhaa made my day
    stupid bitchhecker =)))

  23. Karen on October 28th, 2006 5:44 am

    I met a guy like that once… after a while when he STILL hadnøt hacked my computer he said he didn’t want to waste his time on an idiot like me..
    Well..right back at ya, on that one!!

    he gave up much quicker that that though… boring..hehe

  24. Dorokusai on October 30th, 2006 8:50 pm

    it only all that wish to “hack” would be like him
    though that would put symantic out of business
    think of all the clock cycle we could save

  25. Dorokusai on October 30th, 2006 8:59 pm

    sorry please read if for it Doh!

  26. RichNFamous on November 2nd, 2006 1:11 am

    This kid is so stupid, I have a hard time believing that this actually happened…but I recall what Einstein said when someone asked him the difference between genius and stupidity.

    His answer? “Genius has limits.”

  27. stratman3001 on November 2nd, 2006 3:44 am

    That’s hilarious! I can’t believe anyone would be that stupid to delete their own hard drive!

  28. bitchchecker on November 2nd, 2006 5:01 am

    OMG YOU are so dead, mother F*UCK!!!

    I got some html lessons, and ohhhhh, you are in for it! Gimme your IP.

  29. I on November 2nd, 2006 5:03 am

    OMG hes back, lol. oh no. u better look out.

  30. YOUaDUMARSE on November 2nd, 2006 2:57 pm

    I,

    Be careful not to tell him that your IP is 127.0.0.1
    He might actually hack you this time

  31. Charlie on November 4th, 2006 6:17 am

    WTF?!?!? this guy is dumb, i knew wat 127.0.0.1 was when i was 10, and im 12 now.

    oh, by the way, check out my website, at C:\Website! lol.

  32. atomed on November 5th, 2006 12:20 am

    hahaha, what a dumbass

  33. mabz on November 5th, 2006 6:27 am

    how smart is he deleting stuff from 127.0.0.1 ???
    does he know thats HIS address!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  34. Paul R Nelson on November 5th, 2006 9:52 am

    I’m Paul R Nelson and i approve of this story.

  35. Am3n on November 5th, 2006 6:43 pm

    FUNNIEST THING IVE SEEN!.. hahahahhaa

    made my day…. good wrk!

  36. Bill Gates on November 6th, 2006 2:56 am

    What an insanely dumb hacker. I knew this when i startet in kindergarden.

  37. Ac1d on November 6th, 2006 11:44 am

    Haaahaaa!! Nice!

  38. franman on November 10th, 2006 7:01 am

    it was a little too long, but non-edited real conversation is worth being lengthy ^_^

    and yeah it was pretty funny, worth being long, it didnt get boring like most long jokes

  39. dyoung on November 12th, 2006 6:02 am

    haha bill gates is dumb he cant spell started ….and bill gates was a drop out…soo…uhh? yea

  40. andy on November 14th, 2006 6:26 pm

    wata hacker lolozzz!!!!!!

  41. paul on November 22nd, 2006 6:15 am

    does he not know he has to use a duplexor crossed with an anti matter streamer in conjuntion with a particle accelerator to anble him to get through a fire wall tsk tsk tsk even i know that

  42. Boethiah on November 25th, 2006 1:06 am

    Wow, i’m 13 and i already know about the 127.0.0.1 IP Loop Address, man that guy is dumb.

  43. RichC on December 2nd, 2006 4:56 am

    What a dumb f**k. I ain’t no super hacker but man the dude deleted his own system trying to be a smartass. Funniest thing I’ve heard for like light years. Thanks guys and gals for the laugh.

  44. SITHDUKE on December 4th, 2006 5:50 pm

    RichC, lightyears is a measure of distance not time. Anyways this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Thanks so much for the great laugh.

  45. Aphi on January 9th, 2007 6:05 am

    LMAO That is so funny now that’s something you don’t see everyday some HAx0r n00b destroying his own comp.

  46. Charlie on January 11th, 2007 8:13 am

    WOW. That made my day. Who says computers and networking, socially or physically, need to be boring ..
    Nice work .. :-D

  47. OMG Mike on January 23rd, 2007 1:39 am

    LoL I most learn from the master bitchchecker pmsl :)

  48. ade on January 26th, 2007 7:04 pm

    Waittasec… isn’t 127.0.0.1 LOCALHOST?!

    Before hacking things I think he must leard a little basic networking. Hehehehe.

  49. Sunil on February 25th, 2007 7:04 pm

    This truly made my day. It had been long since I had a hard laugh. Thank you so much!! ROTFL!

  50. Valdorf on March 2nd, 2007 6:15 pm

    But since he said YOU have a firewall and he was trying to hack himself. And he called elch a girl for having one. That he was infact the one hiding behind a firewall? Whos the girl?

  51. Krios Enorym on March 19th, 2007 8:24 am

    *cough*. Dumbass.

  52. Name(required) on May 18th, 2007 10:38 pm

    I’m screwed.

    Guys, I’m sure you won’t believe me but my PC has the same IP address as you have!!! 127.0.0.1
    I’m terrified. I already checked and I have no E: F: and G: at all.
    As precaution I had set up a website at http://localost:80 and I uploaded all my files so they are safe hopefully.
    I think for personal safety I will upload my cat and dog as well.
    I also would like to ask u guys to help me hiding my personal information and remember my PIN code so I can delete my pincode.txt form my c:

    My PIN is 1432.

    cheers,

    Name(required)

  53. Fujimoto on May 19th, 2007 11:18 pm

    Lmao! I am by no means good enough to call myself a ‘hacker’ but even I knew where this was going right from the start. 127.0.0.1. . . . HA!!! Good one. Can’t believe he fell for it.

  54. NewkirAj on June 1st, 2007 9:07 am

    wtf! that guy is an idiot! holy s*** 127.0.0.1 !!! ROTFLMAO!

    ________________________-
    “There’s no place like 127.0.0.1″

    xD

  55. Harmlesshamster on June 5th, 2007 9:02 am

    This is so funny – he was all thinking he was deleting the other guy’s hard drive then – beeooppp – - what the hell happened to my computer? der…

  56. Bitchchecker on June 5th, 2007 9:10 am

    I’ll get you someday, Elch! Someday (shakes fist).

  57. web bug on June 6th, 2007 11:08 pm

    This is totally hillarious, that hacker is soo dumb, i met an 8 year old who knows that 127.0.0.1 is loopback adress,

    LOOOOL

    that totally made my day!!!

  58. K!RI on July 14th, 2007 4:31 am

    ROFL…….

  59. nehemie on July 15th, 2007 8:07 am

    that guy was pretty dumb gosh this is like a hackers haven could someone pleeeeeaase teach me so stuff my email is neetchu@yahoo.com thanx

  60. hizuka007 on July 15th, 2007 12:13 pm

    PUSANG IRING!!!!

  61. Rod on July 18th, 2007 10:58 pm

    ahahahhahaha
    If Bitchchecker is a real hacker, then I’m the president of England. LOL
    ahahahahha
    DST, 127.0.0.1… those really were very very funny…
    what a stupid man.. I can’t believe this shit!!!
    Bitchchecker = big asshole, indeed!!!!
    Guys, be careful with hackers like that moron!!
    thanks for sharing that ridiculous, yet amazing story!!!

  62. mohammad on July 19th, 2007 10:29 am

    i want to be agreat hacker with the help of blackcode.com

  63. Just another guy.... on August 6th, 2007 6:22 pm

    OMG!, Do people like this really exist? And he’s 26? Double OMG!
    I burst out laughing!
    127.0.0.1? LOL!

  64. m77 on September 17th, 2007 5:19 am

    nice, very funny story =)

  65. windfang on November 19th, 2007 10:09 pm

    Just for your enlightenment: This is originaly from a german anti-Hip-Hop website:

    http://www.stophiphop.com/news/184.html

    They also sell T-shirts with “I hacked 127.0.0.1″ on them.

  66. The Blogger on November 20th, 2007 3:09 am

    wow that’s cool! didn’t know that the original was german. thanks for the info!

  67. l0ader on November 20th, 2007 10:12 pm

    nice one :D :D :D thx >:D

  68. Kyhx on November 23rd, 2007 1:03 am

    go rip some content… submit to stumbleupon where you found it… instant cool

  69. Blastedt on November 23rd, 2007 5:01 am

    This joke has been around for centuries.

  70. Deputy Doofus on November 25th, 2007 7:23 am

    Took me a while to ready but twas worth it! nice one cheers for sharing (Y)

  71. Renslow on November 28th, 2007 11:06 am

    …rofl…rofl…rofl..

    he didnt even port scan you:( you should of asked him stuff about linux or any other type of os’s

  72. Basaballs on November 30th, 2007 9:14 am

    Bitchchecker must have been referring to his Golfing Skills.

  73. That Guy on December 2nd, 2007 2:54 am

    That was pretty good, the idiocy of other people some times astounds me. I’m gonna remember that one for any future self proclaimed 1337 h4×0r5. :D

  74. blackmanok on December 3rd, 2007 2:37 pm

    sad b;tchhacker. even in the end he didn’t get it. hahaha! LOL

  75. SAuce on December 23rd, 2007 8:39 am

    the original story was in German, taken from a german metal chat.
    also, its old as ass (but still funny)
    link for the original source (in GERMAN): http://www.stophiphop.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=184

  76. nogo on December 27th, 2007 5:57 am

    bitchchecker, my port numbr 6653689909 is waiting for you:P

  77. Anonymous on December 27th, 2007 11:46 am

    LOL! That is so funny! What the hell… Retarded hacker

  78. jakeri on December 28th, 2007 7:16 am

    :S if every hacker(cracker) would be that stupid we wouldn’t have any problems with internet :D

  79. Taylor Love on December 29th, 2007 9:39 am

    wow. I stumbled this. this hacker sounds like me! XD I don’t hack others, nor would I ever (unless they were total jackasses). I’m a wanna be hacker. xD perhaps I should learn. o_o

  80. Slayer on December 30th, 2007 7:17 pm

    wow even a retard knows thats your LAN ip

  81. jimbob on December 30th, 2007 11:00 pm

    I had a similar experience with someone claiming to be a hacker in mirc, i got his IP address and set-up a batch file pinging it then told him i was looking at all his files, to verify this i told him his network icon would be going crazy, he promptly quit.

  82. Jakub on January 2nd, 2008 8:21 am

    Hehehe, so funny! But be prepared, he is going online again :D

  83. Bitchchecker on January 9th, 2008 4:54 am

    **slaps forehead**

  84. oldnick on January 13th, 2008 9:47 am

    hope don’t get put in charge of da red button he my delete is own country

  85. mar on January 13th, 2008 10:07 am

    lmfao. i love this one. i cannot believe what a toxic twat thig guy is , im female build computers lol and even i no that was a loop back ip dumb ass you just deleted your own shit hahahhahahha ….. 26 wow. probably sitll lives with mummmy lol and datty. and has a 486 puter in basement lmfao. get a life looser its 2008 .. get a new puter and some new software and a new hacker manual weve come along way you no. technolagie lmfao.. sorry for the spelling hahah ok im out . blessed be from all us witches..

  86. Twinkles on January 26th, 2008 7:40 am

    OMG this was tooo funny … gimmeee ur ip looooooooool what planet is he from geeeeeeeez looooooooooooool ..thank you for the giggle…

  87. windytue on March 30th, 2008 3:53 am

    zomg! TFF! give them ip and take down FW they send you an email! He couldnt hack his way out of wet paper bag let alone into anything… i bet his pc still smoking! roflol

  88. bitchchecker on June 10th, 2008 2:11 am

    lol all u nubs are gonna get hacked now im logging everyone who posts negavtive sh1t against me!! ur all gonna get ur harddrives delated!!! LOOOL!!!

  89. joe on June 12th, 2008 3:23 am

    yeah.. that was great!

  90. Anon on June 28th, 2008 1:24 pm

    I lol’d, that’s great.

  91. someguy12133424542312343241 on June 29th, 2008 5:22 pm

    HAHAHAH awesome totally awesome he should have realised it after his comp crashed twice

  92. Devon on August 3rd, 2008 10:59 am

    What a retard LOL that made my laugh.

    He’s probably 12yrs old lolz.

  93. zeromonth on August 4th, 2008 8:33 pm

    wtf! that is f@#cking dumb

  94. shaun on August 7th, 2008 2:40 am

    Fake. You can tell it was photoshopped.

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